Quote:
Originally Posted by charlotte1001
Thank you for the advice. Im quite new to childcare and currently at my setting we have a boy who hits, pushes and takes things off other children (he will lay on the floor and be playing with a toy and if another child is sitting near him, he will kick them, like just because they are their and he can, he shows no other signs of having issues with personal space invasion or anything). As soon as he sees that you have noticed what he has done, he smiles and trys to hide in the corner. What do you think he is trying to tell me? and what do you think the best strategy to dealing with this is? I try to praise alot but it can be hard as the above seems to be his behaviour nearly the whole time.
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There could be many reasons why this little boy is behaving this way:
How old is this child?
What development stage is he at? (regardless of age)
How is his language? Is he speaking? at what level?
can he make himself understood?
Does he understand instructions/requests etc, but not have sufficient/any language to get across his needs etc?
Is this child new to the setting?
What environment does he live in?
i.e. home/childminder/setting/childminder or grandparents/home?
Is he an only child, a 'middle' sibling, his mother has just had a baby?
Is his attendance to the setting a regular routine or does he miss sessions for whatever reason?
....and lots of other reasons.
Any of the above may make a child display the behaviour that you write of. I cannot see the child and know none of the above, but from what you have written there appears to be a sharing and language issue from the behaviour you say he displays.
You say he plays quite happily on his own (look at Piaget's thoery on stages - egocentric stage, ), he is happy to play in his own world and he doesn't quite rightly (in his mind) want anyone to invade his personal space - he doesn't need anyone else.
Obviously you have other children to consider and this little boy will learn with help and role modelling from everyone - children and adults alike. In this instant if you are saying he is lying on the floor playing with say cars - how about moving some of the cars to another area? or spread them out a little (if you can) so that it does allow more children to play there and lie down. Young children like playing at floor level and need more space.
Don't put the cars and garages on top of each other, if you know this child (or another young child or same needs etc) put a few cars in tuff tops or smaller garden containers ( you can purchase various sizes and very reasonable), so this may help the 'kicking out issue'.
This child will, in his own time want to play differently and also get to the stage where he will play alongside, then want to play with another child etc. So he won't be in this learning stage forever - but there will always be another child to 'take his place'.
The other thing is to help children learn to understand what sharing is and how we go about it. Perhaps in circle time (or whatever you want to call it or do) at the beginning of the day, talk about (age and stage appropriate) how we share when there is only one or two item such as scooters, but then explain that you provide playing activities for lots of children to play at once such as cars, dolls, trains, rollers in the play dough etc If they want a certain car/dressing up dress etc they will have to wait but there are alternatives.
Although you can watch as children problem solve i.e. over a pram or dressing up costume, stay close by to step in to help that sharing and waiting their turn process - especially with children who may wade in with 'all guns blazing'. In your talk you can say, it is nice to see them sharing and deciding who is going to go first, but if they have any problems they can't sort out by talking nicely, they must ask an adult.
Of course, the child you write about will not learn from day one, but over time, he will mature and take this one board and one day be role modelling to other children that are still learning.
He will see and hear you choosing children to help collect the mugs, water plants etc, he will see you sharing the responsibilities around and see the children waiting their turn until later or even another day. He will be listening and observing and learning, even if he isn't participating at the moment.
The other thing is to have a good relationship (purely professional) with his parent/carers to know what 'his world' is like - is he left to his own devices at home, is their a change at home, is he an only child not use to having to share etc or is he just new to the setting and 'young'.
Even if he has been coming awhile, children all develop at a different pace, have different interests - have you noticed if he has a favourite car/train/aeroplane that he is keeping to himself? If so, is there the possibility of you obtaining another one? This isn't giving in to him, but understanding his needs, and providing for others.
I notice you say he averts his eyes when he has been told not to kick/lash out etc - so therefore his understanding is ahead of his speech? If you feel there isn't a concern there i.e. he is under three and his development is what is expected. Explain that everyone is friends at ..... and friends are kind etc...
Make sure all staff are saying the same thing to him. Whatever age and development stage he is at - use the appropriate language, it's no good going on and on when he's only at the telegraphic stage of understanding language. Give praise when it is earned, but not false praise i.e. when trying to placate him- children know and it doesn't help anyone.
I don't think stickers/reward charts are needed here - as he is displaying behaviour due to a particular age and stage rather than going around being unkind and lashing out. He needs help to accept others may play around him - but give him (and others) the space they need.
You may find it helpful to read up some of the theories on understanding children's play, their moral judgement etc. There are so many to choose from, but even reading a little on the internet will help you decide what ones you prefer, and it will be invaluable reading for you now that you have decided to work in this sector.
I hope this helps a little - have a chat with colleagues, mention the above, think of other strategies between you, support each other and be consistent, soon that little boy will be through that stage, but another child will come along to 'take their place' with their own particular needs. Read your EYFS pack - it's all in there - look at the age and stage development - go to the practitoners' column where it tells you what to provide/what to do etc. The more you read, the more it will help you.
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